Bye, Tinder, I’m Swiped Out!
No more swiping for me, thanks.
Profile deleted. App uninstalled. Done.
Too many scammers, and by the way, I’ve added screen shots of the latest and final encounters for your entertainment. Take a second to read their captivating bios and text messages.
REMEMBER: These photos have been snatched and attached to fake profiles.
How do I know that the third profile is a fraud? Well, first, the mileage is showing 6556 miles away. Close to the same mileage I saw on umpteen other fraudulent profiles. When I searched the distance between Oklahoma City and Lagos, Nigeria, it calculated 6541.9 miles. Coincidence?? I don’t think so.
Additionally, when I searched the first sentence,
I want someone who is upfront and honest, and I will do the same,”
I found it verbatim on a totally separate profile on a separate site. Basically, the entire bio is a copy and paste of romance buzzwords. Just pick a phrase and Google it. You’ll see.
After reflecting upon my 6 1/2-month Tinder journey, I’ve composed the following list of pros and cons of said journey:
- I’ve sharpened my research skills, specifically, how to reverse search an image on Google and tineye. [PRO]
- I’ve developed painful tendonitis in my right arm, due to incessent swiping. (At least that’s my official Google-searched medical diagnosis; I’ve not yet gone to the actual doctor.) [CON]
- I’ve increased disdain for low-life assholes who steal photos, lie about who they are, and prey upon decent people. [PRO? CON? You decide.]
- I’ve accumulated an ass-load of blog-fodder. [PRO]
- I’ve gone on a few dates with three attractive, considerate guys. [PRO]
- I’ve experienced a boost of self-confidence as a result of the aforementioned dates. [PRO]
- I’ve gained one friend–another positive outcome of the aforementioned dates. [PRO]
- I’ve missed out on sleep, writing time, sleep, time with friends and family, and did I mention, sleep? [CON]
My Tinder Mission is over. I’m ready to move along. If I never meet a real guy to spend the rest of my life with, that’s fine. If I run into my Romeo, Prince Charming, Mr. Right, or Iron Man while selecting my favorite Greek yogurt or waiting my turn at the pharmacy, even better. I know that I gave it my best shot, and I don’t want to waste another minute swiping left, right, up, or down on a dating app. For now, I have laundry to attend to. And possibly a nap.
Feel free to leave your comments! Thanks for reading!