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Archive for the category “Loving Humanity”

Working On Me!

Since the whole Tinder-scammer fiasco last year (see posts below), I have had some pleasant dates with actual, real non-scamming dudes. However, I’m still trying to figure out this whole dating gig, even after being single for {cough}, let’s just say, a while now.

I’ve been on another dating site that has been a little less scammy, but I’m finding out more and more about myself as I trek along.

I don’t remember exactly how, but last summer, I stumbled upon multiple YouTube channels of these guys who provide dating and relationship advice to women. I’m a teacher, so that whole lifelong learner mantra stands true with me. I’m a sponge for information, especially when it’s secret intelligence that promises to enlighten me about the male psyche and how the hell I can avoid the emotional peril and perplexities I’ve encountered throughout my not-so-impressive dating life. So, I subscribed to a few of these guys’ YouTube channels.

Now, these experts charge for classes, webinars, downloads, and videos because these are their businesses. But, they also offer free tid-bits, to lure you in. I don’t mean that negatively, though. Truly, the only reason I haven’t already purchased one or more of their programs is because I’m an Oklahoma teacher, and I HAVE. NO. MONEY.

Let me tell you what their videos have done for me thus far.

  • They have encouraged me.
  • They have reminded me that I’m valuable, and that I need to act like it.
  • They have made me more aware of times when my behavior or attitude exudes insecurities instead of confidence.
  • They have shown me that I sometimes allow the negative and hurtful things from past relationships (dating or platonic) to dictate how I perceive the world, my circumstances, and men.
The main takeaway for me is this: Work on me. Make sure I’m happy within myself before I add a long-term relationship to the mix.

Now, I’ve known this in my head for a long time, and I thought just knowing it to be true was all that was necessary. But it’s not. I have to work on it, apply it, keep learning about myself and adjusting accordingly as I go. It’s not an overnight thing. It’s not a I’ve got it, I’ve arrived thing, either. It’s a growing, cultivating work of art. Yep, I’m a work of art and God is the artist. I know that analogy is overused, but it’s true. And I like it, so there. 😉

Does this mean I’m not allowing myself to meet and talk to guys? Nope! I’m just doing it with incremental confidence. Baby steps. Keep learning, keep trying, keep enjoying.

Tell me in the comment sections what you’ve learned about relationships and yourself lately.

Below are the aforementioned Tinder posts, in case you missed them. Know someone on Tinder? Share these posts!
  1. My Tinder Mission
  2. Tinder BS-O-Meter Sounds Again
  3. Actual Tinder Scamming Profile
  4. Tinder Photo Swiping
  5. Bye Tinder, I’m Swiped Out!
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Writing Prompt Day 10: Top Five Pet Peeves

These are in no particular order. I’m  sure there are more–just ask my students.

1) Grammatical mistakes in posts or articles that are meant to be poignant but immediately lose credibility due to complacent ignorance or blatant irreverence of the English language. (Is that grammar snobbish enough?)

2) Disrespect.

3) Arrogance. (Unless you’re a member of the grammar police, like me. Ha! Am I hypocritical?)

4) Students (or anyone) exuding entitlement.

5) People who are energetic, early risers. If you speak to me within two hours of my waking, you simply don’t know me and don’t value your life. (This amends #2 for those of us who are not morning people.)

Writing Prompt Day 9: Something I Crave A Lot

Crave physically? Mentally? Emotionally?

Physically

Sometimes I crave french fries dipped in a chocolate malt. Yumminess.

Mentally

I crave intelligent and inspiring conversation.

Emotionally

I crave love and companionship from a man who will love me inspite of my flaws. I also crave to reciprocate that.

Let me be clear. I know how to be single. I’m independent and do enjoy facets of my singleness. Alone time is important and necessary for me to recharge and regroup. I can come and go as I please. I can decide when or if I’ll cook or do the dishes. However, singleness and loneliness are sometimes synonymous.

I don’t NEED someone in order to function and thrive, but I WANT to share life with someone. Someone who can bring out the best parts of me that I wouldn’t easily discover without that significant other to inspire and encourage me toward new adventures.

I know that some people in the world have found their perfect match or soulmate. You might scoff at that word, soulmate. Scoff if you must, but I choose to believe it can happen. To me. No one’s perfect, I get that. But, perfect simply means a perfect fit for me.

I’m going to keep growing and learning, to keep cultivating a better and better version of me. I’ll continue on my journey, hoping, trusting, moving, enjoying, fighting, and loving. He’s bound to show up, ready to be my fitting soulmate.

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